Sunday 12 January 2014

When infertility affects the marriage!

When infertility affects the marriage!

The couple was immensely worried and disturbed. I had several counseling sessions jointly, but could not make them comfortable. Finally I decided to talk to them separately and that too without revealing the fact. I called the husband for a routine meeting and started probing about the exact problem. Bingo! I hit the bull’s eye. It was none other than the commonest problem of infertile couples. Male partners are always worried about their spouses more than the infertility problem. It is a truth, that infertility affects women severely. Does it mean that men are not concerned about infertility? They are, but the erratic behavior and emotional outburst of their partners bother them more than the actual problem. Women are always emotionally fragile than the men. Their reaction is always highly intense and harsh towards infertility.
The turmoil of infertility

Major issues that disturb the married life:
a.    Women become obsessed about it:  Yes, it is the biggest issue. Female partner will always be fixated on conception. They eat and drink infertility. It is the first thought when they wake-up, and they go to sleep with the same thought. Intense mood swings and depression are the other symptoms due to the obsession.

b.    Social withdrawal: Infertile women avoid interaction with others, and it is another challenge for men. They try to take the partner out of shell by arranging picnic, going for dinner or booking the movie tickets.  However, women do not cooperate to the efforts and prefer to stay alone. It is also a common observation that women avoid family functions where they encounter children and moms.

c.    Losing interest in activities they are fond of: Infertile women lose interest in their favorite activities. They don’t read the favorite book, don’t enjoy the favorite music and don’t visit the favorite place. This is quite annoying factor for the spouse. Initial distress and discussion converts into big disputes sometimes causing damage to the married life.

Don’t upset about it, take it easy!
It is a disturbing issue for the husbands. They do not know how to react and tackle the problem. Husbands are unable to understand the reason behind the worry.  Isn’t it appropriate to meet head-on to the issue instead of getting annoyed with it? 

Undoubtedly it is a tough time and infertility experts try their best to bring the life to normal. However, the infertile couple play major role in achieving the desired results. Especially the female partner should understand that marriage is valuable than the infertility problem.

Man alone can’t correct the situation. Women have to come forward and change the attitude. It resolves the deadlock and the couple move forward towards a bright tomorrow. Women need to understand that there has been great advancement in the medical science. With the correct diagnosis and the right treatment it is possible to defeat infertility problem. It is important to keep the morale high and fight back rigorously. Practicing self-motivation is the key to success. With the right approach and positive attitude they can certainly win the battle.

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