Miscarriage and How to deal With Miscarriage
What is a miscarriage?
A miscarriage is as a loss of pregnancy prior to the 20th week of gestation. A pregnancy loss after the 20th week of gestation is considered a stillbirth. The different types of miscarriages create different signs and symptoms, ways of coping with miscarriage, and how to attempt conceiving after miscarriage.
The simple definition of miscarriage is the spontaneous termination of a pregnancy. Miscarriage affects about 25% of all expectant women, and generally happens between four and six weeks. Miscarriage almost always happens before the 13th week of pregnancy. The chances of a miscarriage are higher in first pregnancies than in later ones.
Miscarriages happen for a wide variety of reasons. About half are due to abnormalities in the fetus or the placenta, including chromosomal problems. Sometimes the egg attaches in the wrong place resulting in an early miscarriage. Recent studies have linked environmental pollution or excessive caffeine consumption to higher risks of miscarriage. So the short answer is that most times, miscarriage occurs totally outside of the control of the expectant mother.
The different types of miscarriages are listed below:
- A "Chemical" Pregnancy
- Missed Miscarriage
- Blighted Ovum
- Molar Pregnancy
- Completed Miscarriage
- Recurrent Miscarriage
- Ectopic Pregnancy
- Stillbirth
- Incomplete Miscarriage
- Threatened Miscarriage
- Inevitable Miscarriage
What are the impacts of a miscarriage?
For the mother it is both physical and emotional, and there are a number of painful and unpleasant impacts of a miscarriage. There will usually be significant vaginal bleeding and the passing of large clots. This in and of itself is a little unnerving for the mother and her partner. After all, how much blood is too much or how many clots are too many? How can you tell what is to be expected and what is not? In addition, mom's body often reacts like it does when she gives birth, so, for example, her breasts may enlarge and be tender. Her hormones will likely cause unexpected emotional and physical reactions, which only complicate the feeling of loss.
Emotional impacts - For both mom and dad, there are significant emotional issues. The feeling of emptiness a mom experiences is both physical and emotional. There may be feelings of guilt or of failure. And there may be a sense of overall depression or discouragement.
How should I deal with my grief, and that of my partner?
Know what to say and what not to say. Many moms who have miscarried have suggested that their husbands not try to console them with a message that "you can still have other kids." For mom, this baby was unique and special. Having more kids in any number will not eliminate the feeling of loss. Talking about other pregnancies may be our male way of trying to fix it. What mom needs is a listening ear, sympathy and a reassurance of your love for her. This kind of attitude will help her deal more effectively with her loss.
Socialize and share. Men typically don't call other men on the phone to talk about their feelings, even in the case of a miscarriage. It is just not our way of grieving. But some dads have experienced some peace and healing by writing down some of those feelings and "giving them life" on paper. That can be very therapeutic for a grieving father.
Support each other for your partner. Your partner will often feel the loss of a child more keenly that you will. So take the time to sit with her, hold her, and listen to her express herself. Just being there and supporting her through her grief will really help her process the experience.
Do more creative work and get busy. Men will often turn to a project to help assuage the feelings of grief and loss. It is not a bad way to deal with everything that is going on around you. Being busy (but not too busy to be supportive to your partner) will help with the passing of time and will focus you in a positive direction.
Miscarriage is a huge blow to an expectant couple. By staying focused on supporting each other and by realizing that time will help the healing process, you can find peace even as you grieve for the loss of that one special life.
What is a miscarriage?
A miscarriage is as a loss of pregnancy prior to the 20th week of gestation. A pregnancy loss after the 20th week of gestation is considered a stillbirth. The different types of miscarriages create different signs and symptoms, ways of coping with miscarriage, and how to attempt conceiving after miscarriage.
The simple definition of miscarriage is the spontaneous termination of a pregnancy. Miscarriage affects about 25% of all expectant women, and generally happens between four and six weeks. Miscarriage almost always happens before the 13th week of pregnancy. The chances of a miscarriage are higher in first pregnancies than in later ones.
Miscarriages happen for a wide variety of reasons. About half are due to abnormalities in the fetus or the placenta, including chromosomal problems. Sometimes the egg attaches in the wrong place resulting in an early miscarriage. Recent studies have linked environmental pollution or excessive caffeine consumption to higher risks of miscarriage. So the short answer is that most times, miscarriage occurs totally outside of the control of the expectant mother.
The different types of miscarriages are listed below:
- A "Chemical" Pregnancy
- Missed Miscarriage
- Blighted Ovum
- Molar Pregnancy
- Completed Miscarriage
- Recurrent Miscarriage
- Ectopic Pregnancy
- Stillbirth
- Incomplete Miscarriage
- Threatened Miscarriage
- Inevitable Miscarriage
What are the impacts of a miscarriage?
For the mother it is both physical and emotional, and there are a number of painful and unpleasant impacts of a miscarriage. There will usually be significant vaginal bleeding and the passing of large clots. This in and of itself is a little unnerving for the mother and her partner. After all, how much blood is too much or how many clots are too many? How can you tell what is to be expected and what is not? In addition, mom's body often reacts like it does when she gives birth, so, for example, her breasts may enlarge and be tender. Her hormones will likely cause unexpected emotional and physical reactions, which only complicate the feeling of loss.
Emotional impacts - For both mom and dad, there are significant emotional issues. The feeling of emptiness a mom experiences is both physical and emotional. There may be feelings of guilt or of failure. And there may be a sense of overall depression or discouragement.
How should I deal with my grief, and that of my partner?
Know what to say and what not to say. Many moms who have miscarried have suggested that their husbands not try to console them with a message that "you can still have other kids." For mom, this baby was unique and special. Having more kids in any number will not eliminate the feeling of loss. Talking about other pregnancies may be our male way of trying to fix it. What mom needs is a listening ear, sympathy and a reassurance of your love for her. This kind of attitude will help her deal more effectively with her loss.
Socialize and share. Men typically don't call other men on the phone to talk about their feelings, even in the case of a miscarriage. It is just not our way of grieving. But some dads have experienced some peace and healing by writing down some of those feelings and "giving them life" on paper. That can be very therapeutic for a grieving father.
Support each other for your partner. Your partner will often feel the loss of a child more keenly that you will. So take the time to sit with her, hold her, and listen to her express herself. Just being there and supporting her through her grief will really help her process the experience.
Do more creative work and get busy. Men will often turn to a project to help assuage the feelings of grief and loss. It is not a bad way to deal with everything that is going on around you. Being busy (but not too busy to be supportive to your partner) will help with the passing of time and will focus you in a positive direction.
Miscarriage is a huge blow to an expectant couple. By staying focused on supporting each other and by realizing that time will help the healing process, you can find peace even as you grieve for the loss of that one special life.
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