Sunday, 24 November 2013

Do not blame yourself for infertility

Do not blame yourself for infertility
There are various physical and mental consequences of infertility. It is part of the infertility program for me as an infertility expert. I talk to the couples and try to open them as much as possible. Infertility is indeed difficult to deal with and becomes harder with the delays and unsuccessful attempts.

Self blame is a major problem

Among various psychological complexities after getting diagnosed with infertility problem, self blame is the common problem. It is not simple to deal with this issue. Of course, it is not an intentional attempt, but couples do it unknowingly. Couples think that they are the only couple facing with infertility problem. “Why us?” is quite often asked question to the infertility expert. Feeling of depression is the other symptom. It is better to handle the problem at the early stage.

How to deal with it?

Making the couple comfortable is the first goal to carry out successful infertility treatment. Establishing the faith on infertility procedure is the next accomplishment. These two steps become basic building blocks for a successful treatment. As an infertility expert I earn the confidence of my patients about the purity of intention and purpose of infertility treatment.

• Counseling: I counsel the patients by telling the fundamental reasons of infertility problems. Strangely, many people still do not know about male infertility or unexplained infertility. The problem is always linked with the female and therefore, the depression and self blame is more evident in women. It is explained to the couples that only one-third of the cases are contributed by the women and rest all are either because of men or unidentified reasons.

• Meetings: Communication is the key to deal with psychological problems. I organize one-to-one and group meeting with infertile couples. Group meetings give immense relief to the couples because they get rid of “Why us?” syndrome. It is quite shocking for some couples to know that there are many others sailing in the same boat.

• Scientific approach: It is important to explain the scientific reasons and theory behind the specific infertility problem of the couple. Every problem has different factors and those need to be explained to the couple. I tell them about the treatment methods and expected chance of success. We discuss the possibilities of failure as well to set right expectations.

• Positivity: I tell the couples to stop self blaming and start thinking about a bright future. I tell them imagining a joyful life after a successful treatment. Feeling hopeless is a crime because it doesn’t help either. I tell the couples to believe on the treatment and be hopeful. It is absolutely not needed to feel worthless. It is just another physical ailment that should be treated, that’s it!

• Never deal with it alone:The couple must fight with the feeling of self-blame together. Both need to motivate, counsel and help each other in the tough moments of agony and frustration. Combined efforts bring miraculous results.

Treating with self blame is tough, but not difficult. Little determination and will-power makes the difference!

1 comment:

  1. I completely agree with it. Infertility is not in anyone's hand. It sometimes make life ridiculous and often people blame themselves for it but in reality it is not at all due to our habits. Sometimes it is inherited also.

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