Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Do men face emotional mayhem during infertility treatment ?

Do men face emotional mayhem during infertility treatment ?

When they say “men are from the Mars and women are from the Venus” it means men are always strong, happy-go-lucky and flamboyant! Well, as an infertility expert with so many years of experience I would say the reality is drastically different. I have come across hundreds of couples so far with varying infertility problem and found the men most deeply affected, but the least bothered about!

The “masculine” aspect of infertility

The world talks so much about the problem of infertility. There are discussions in blogs, forums, talk shows, magazines, but from the feminine perspective only. Females find it quite easy and comfortable talking about the pain, the agony and frustration. It is, however, not that easy for their counterparts.
Men never talk about it openly, barring a few discussions about it with a mug of beer. However, it doesn’t mean they are not bothered about it. On the other hand, they look at it with very different perspective and ironically that is not even gets noticed.Â

Feeling of guilt: The detection of infertility is a big blow for him, especially if he is contributing to the problem. Men have been considered responsible for producing an heir. The incompetence makes him timid and shy. He feels that he will not be able to face his wife.

Feeling of insecurity: The infertility problem immense sense of insecurity to him. The insecurity about relationship, love and married life. In most of the cases, the insecurity doesn’t come on the surface and even if it comes, it is the tip of the iceberg.

Feeling of disguise: Men feel tremendously disguised when the problem is revealed. They feel it a threat to their social status and pride. The feeling of getting humiliated gets converted in the feeling of disguise, self-rejection and isolation from the society.

In our society infertility is always considered a feminine issue. The first suspect is always the female partner. It is a fact that more than half of the cases of infertility are due to the problem in the male partner. While the new generation is well aware of the fact, social force and false ego of masculine power makes him thinking the other way. It creates tremendous pressure and conflict in the mind. It results in bottling up the feeling making the condition worse.

The role of infertility experts

I am not just an expert of reproductive procedures while treating the infertility problem. On the other hand, I need to play the role of a psychiatrist, a counselor and a friend. Sometimes I need to call the experts, if the case is beyond my limits. I talk to the men, explain the root cause of problem, discuss the possible remedies and try to release the tension in the air. I tell to the man that he is not only sufferer in the world. There are so many sailing in the same boat. It gives immense relief. Open dialogue is the only way to cope-up with emotional turmoil in the men. If it can’t be done by the family, friends and support groups, then the infertility expert wears that cap!

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